I want you to want ME, another playlist by Ro

Another playlist by yours truly. Earlier this year I began archiving my old playlists and dissecting them one song at a time. Stay with me, this one hails from 2002 and has zero content from 2002 because apparently I was already an old woman by then.

1. Kokomo – The Beach Boys

‘Afternoon delight, cocktails and moonlit nights
That dreamy look in your eye, give me a tropical contact high’

So ummmm, is this song on your baby-making playlist? Probably. In 2002 I didn’t know what afternoon delight was, or what a contact high was for that matter. Oy.

2. When I’m 64 – The Beatles

What a sweet and endearing song. Grow old with me, internet.

3. The Longest Time – Billy Joel

‘I don’t care what consequence it brings
I have been a fool for lesser things
I want you so bad’

But seriously, as a teenager, you run into everything head first and you deal with the pain later. Billy Joel knows what’s up. Falling in love is pretty reckless. We try to tell ourselves that we’ll be cautious and we won’t give all of ourselves, and then one slip and it’s all downhill. Life lessons, yo.

4. You Made Me So very Happy – Blood, Sweat and Tears

I love you so much it seems
You’re even in my dreams
I can hear you’

Careful there, BST. Telling someone you’re dreaming about them gets creepy, unless they feel the same way. Actually, make sure they feel the same way before you say this kind of stuff at all. Or keep it to yourself. Or write a hit song. Whatever.

5. More Than A Feeling – Boston

Confession: I’ve overplayed this song and I don’t like it anymore.

6. I Want You To Want Me – Cheap Trick

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I’d love you to love me.
I’m beggin’ you to beg me.’

I very vividly remember wanting someone to feel the same way that I felt about them, but not knowing where I stood. The achy-hurty feeling of not knowing. Ugh, it’s coming back to me now. Staaaahhhhp.

7. Romeo and Juliet – Dire Straits

And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be
All I do is keep the beat and bad company
All I do is kiss you through the bars of a rhyme’

Here, Dire Straits, just take my heart. I didn’t want it anyway after listening to your most excellent crumby song about how it doesn’t work out for Romeo, regardless of his and Juliet’s unfortunate stance on mortality.

8. Just What I Needed – The Cars

I don’t mind you coming here
And wasting all my time
I don’t mind you hanging out
And talking in your sleep’

It’s not wasting time if it’s something you enjoy…

9. Again – Lenny Kravitz

I wonder if I’ll ever see you again’

Back in 1999, it was a lot easier to lose track of someone, and I did. The internet wasn’t in everyone’s house yet, and we still had to ask for phone numbers and risk parents answering. Oh god the panic. Sometimes you just left stuff to chance instead of trying to make it happen.

10. Last Kiss – Pearl Jam

At the very least, he knew it was going to be his last kiss before his love departed this world. I tend to think we would do things differently if we knew we were doing it for the last time. How great would it be to leave this life with a last kiss? BRB, crying while I contemplate it.

11. Pretty Woman

As a 20-something woman, I have feelings about a man noticing a pretty woman on the street and cat-calling after her. It’s not good. I’m sure this song was innocent enough back in the dark ages, but now it doesn’t sit very well with me. Anyway, before I destroy Roy Orbison, I’m moving on.

12. Let’s Spend the Night Together – The Rolling Stones

I still like this song.

13. Two Princes – The Spin Doctors

Who didn’t love this song in all its early 90’s glory? Synopsis- this guy wants you to give him a chance despite that fact that he’s a bum. Personally, I think Romeo from #7 has more of a chance than this guy.

14. I Know You’re Out There Somewhere – The Moody Blues

I know you’re out there somewhere
Somewhere, somewhere
I know you’re out there somewhere
Somewhere you can hear my voice’

More people losing track of each other. I’m beginning to think that maybe we would value our relationships and experiences a little more if the internet didn’t make them so damn convenient. What do I know? I wasn’t even alive when this song came out.

15. The Air That I Breathe

Making love with you
Has left me peaceful warm and tired
What more could I ask
There’s nothing left to be desired
Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak’

This guy is saying that there is nothing else in the world that he wants other than this. All he needs is the air that he breathes and to love you. Why is anyone settling for anything less than this? Go get it, make it happen. Seriously, this is the kind of love that makes me cry. Just kidding, I’m already crying.

Yes, I really do have nostalgia tied to every song, but there isn’t enough time in this world to tell you about it. That, and it’s probably not that interesting to anyone but me. So here we are. Another playlist archived.

My First Ever Mixed CD

In 2000, one did not just go to Youtube and listen to whatever the hell they wanted. They had to buy the CD/tape cassette or wait for the radio/Much Music/MTV to play it. Very few people had dedicated internet, and even fewer people had CD burners. Napster was on the scene, but a lot of the material was corrupt, and most people still had their internet packages in minutes. Downloading a song could take anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour, so it was a giant pain in the ass to download music. Times were tough in the year 2000.

Never the less, it was new and shiny and I had to have my very own mixed CD.

So I paid some guy that I chatted with on ICQ’s Random Chat (who just happened to go to my school) to make me a mixed CD. It cost me $15, or about the same as a new CD, which seemed fair.

My first ever mixed CD is a gem. There is no rhyme or reason to the tracks, I just liked them, and they made me happy. What I do know is that track #6 is a huge mystery, because I’d never heard that song and my best guess is that it was mislabeled in Napster as the song I actually wanted, and said dude was not a music aficionado.  Track #7 is a warbled version of Gob’s Paint It Black.

Here we go:

Track 1 – Why Do You Build Me Up – The Foundations

I think There’s Something About Mary came out that year and after that everyone knew the words, I recall singing it with many friends on many occasions.

Track 2 – Yellow Submarine – The Beatles

My childhood pal Sean (a huge Beatles fan) and I used to go to the swimming pool a lot, and we would curl the yellow floating mats and pretend we were in a boat and sing, “WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE!” We thought we were the coolest. PS- Sean, I miss you. You were the first person who ever embraced my weirdness; together we weren’t weird.

Track 3 – So Happy Together – The Turtles

It was just a great song. I still love it. It’s one of those songs that reflects my life.

Track 4 – Flagpole Sitta – Harvey Danger

PARANOIA! PARANOIA! EVERYBODY’S COMING TO GET ME! This song is so satisfying to yell-sing, especially so when you are 14 years old and SO misunderstood! *cue eye rolls* Oh Rochele….

Track 5 – Ariel vs. Lotus – Limblifter

I’m not sure what happened. I’d never heard this track before it ended up on my CD, and I definitely wanted to ask for at least $1 back.

Track 6 – Come On and Love Me – Lenny Kravitz

Okay, I just had to Shazam this, 14 years later. I am 102% I didn’t ask for this to be on my CD, either. It’s a terrible song. Skip.

Track 7 – Paint It Black – Gob

I loved the original Rolling Stones song, but suffered through this one because my dumb 14-year-old friends couldn’t see the forest for the trees, and this was better than not playing this song for them at all.

Track 8 – Clumsy – Our Lady Peace

I was a tad depressed at 14. I didn’t feel like I fit in, and this song seemed to fit.

Track 9 – Always Look on the Bright Side of Life – Monty Python

For my 14th birthday, my stepdad bought me tickets to go see Eric Idle Performs Monty Python and it was a far cry from what I actually wanted. I had never watched Monty Python, and this seemed dumb and obscure. My mom was recovering from surgery and had to cancel my birthday party, and couldn’t get out of bed that day and I ended up taking care of my baby sister, and cried myself to sleep that night. My stepdad knocked on my door and sat on my bed and tried to explain that of all people, he knew that I would love Monty Python if I just gave it a chance. The following month, we went to the show together and I cried again, but mostly because it was the funniest show I’d ever been to. They closed with this song.

Track 10 – Here Comes the Sun – The Beatles

I listened to this song when I had bad days, it helped.

Track 11 – If You Want to Be Happy – Jimmy Soul

This song used to make me laugh, and reaffirmed that if I was going to awkward and gangly forever, I could always fall back on cooking. Somehow I knew even that I’d be a great cook. Recently, a friend told my husband that I must be difficult to live with and he said, “Yeah, but her cooking makes it worth it.” Listen to the song, you’ll get it.

Track 12 – Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen) aka The Sunscreen Song – Baz Luhrman

The first life advice that I ever bothered to pay attention to. And you know what? All of this rings true as an adult. 14-year-old me was nostalgic for something that hadn’t happened yet.

Track 13 – She Lies To Me – 54-40

54-40 used to be Vancouver’s house band. What is wrong with me? I’m not supposed to be happy all the time, but I’m willing to bet it doesn’t matter yet…. for some reason, I was always waiting for the bottom to drop out. I guess it had a few times. My home life wasn’t stellar, and I was used to not asking for things and going without. By the time I was 14, I was going to school with kids who lived in multimillion dollar homes and with kids who lived in co-ops and reservations. High school was a weird place, home was a weird place, and I never quite felt at ease anywhere. The idea of having someone lie to you to protect you was oddly appealing to me.

And… that’s the end of this disc. In 2000, it was hard to tell when you had too much data for a disc. Sometimes songs would just drop off or the disc wouldn’t burn. I can think of a dozen more songs that I probably wanted on this disc, and I know I had alternates picked out in case a certain song wasn’t available. Either way, here is some insight into 14-year-old Rochele. Until I map out the next disc….

Enjoy.

Intimate on the I-91

I’m tired. I’ve only had two hours of sleep. I danced until 4am. I watched the sun rise. I trekked around in wet grass in my pajamas. I found my bed when people were getting up.

And yet here I am, in a car full of people that I don’t know very well, but I’ve become quite fond of. I’m the driver and we’re speeding down the I-91. It’s hot, and we’re all tired, and in all fairness, we’re hungover. We’re following a car of people that are guiding us toward a promise of a swimming pool and relaxation. It’s a long drive. Thanks to an upgraded car rental, we’re driving the Hot Passat and we’re listening to CBC Radio 2, which is suggested after listening to terrible R&B from the 90’s. The car is packed with luggage and remnants from the previous day’s wedding, along with my four companions.

Vampire Weekend’s Unbelievers comes on the radio and one of my car mates asks if I will turn it up. I oblige; I also like the song. He hasn’t said much the whole weekend, but he’s singing loud enough that I can hear him from the front. I quietly join. It’s not long before all five of us are singing in some way or another. I can’t help but think in a couple of hours this will all be over. One of us will have to go back to London; one of us is moving to Turkey; one of is returning to Haida Gwaii; only myself and another are going home to Vancouver. I will likely never have these people together in my car again, so I smile and enjoy the moment.

It is a song that will play over and over in my head for weeks to come. Of all the songs, this is the song that defines my summer. It’s unexpected in a time of Daft Punk’s Get Lucky and Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines. There is nothing about the moment that I would change, it’s perfect for everything that it is.