Renee sent this to me today. You might enjoy it as well
Sent at 2:57 PM on Thursday
Lizzy: ah wonderful
Sent at 3:00 PM on Thursday
Lizzy: writing out all my fucks
Alex: RIGHT?! I’ve been so busy at work today, that I haven’t had time. Now, I’m just too lazy.
FUCK full time jobs that get crazy hectic, but are absolutely pointless to my life.
Sent at 3:02 PM on Thursday
Lizzy: FUCK shoulder and neck pain
FUCK not having enough money to do what I want
FUCK my shitty job that I hate
Alex: FUCK my ankle, and stretched ligaments
FUCK anxiety of walking or moving faster than a snail
FUCK Whole Foods and their ridiculous prices for food that always tastes better than the lunch I packed
FUCK never having enough money for all the things I want to do.
Sent at 3:06 PM on Thursday
Lizzy: FUCK holiday logistics and entitled people
FUCK food for tasting so good
FUCK past mistakes
FUCK belly fat
Fuck short arms
FUCK people who play games
Sent at 3:08 PM on Thursday
Alex: FUCK belly fat.
FUCK eating bad for one day, and feeling it in my thighs the next day.
FUCK boob pain
FUCK assholes who think with their penis
FUCK my big heart and how it loves JUST WAY TOO GOD DAMN MUCH sometimes – seriously.
FUCK phone calls ALL GOD DAMN DAY.
FUCK working for a living
Lizzy: FUCK working for a living
FUCK trying to stay current in fashion and trends
FUCK bad sex
Sent at 3:11 PM on Thursday
Alex: FUCK sex you thought was going to be so good, and was a fucking let down.
FUCK friends with benefits who suck at their one role in your life.
FUCK cocky people who talk a big game and don’t deliver EVER.
Lizzy: FUCK guys who kiss and tell
FUCK people who gossip
FUCK people who base their life on material goods
Alex: FUCK people who base their life on material goods
Lizzy: FUCK my condo that needs so much FUCKING WORK I don’t know how I’m ever going to sell it and make a FUCKING PROFIT
Alex: FUCK people who can’t hold a conversation
Lizzy: FUCK people who can’t hold a conversation
Sent at 3:15 PM on Thursday
Lizzy: FUCK the medical system that pays for Viagra because it’s okay for men to have recreational sex but a medical system that doesn’t pay for birth control for women
Alex: FUCK the medical system that pays for Viagra because it’s okay for men to have recreational sex but a medical system that doesn’t pay for birth control for women – DITTO
FUCK birth control being so damn expensive
Lizzy: FUCK all the GODDAMN LAUNDRY I have to fold and put away that NEVER FUCKING ENDS
Alex: FUCK women having to take all the responsibility
Lizzy: FUCK antiquated views of women who enjoy sex
Alex: FUCK having to eat healthy all the time when all I want to do is eat potato chips and never gain a single pound
FUCK girls who can eat shit all the time and never gain a single pound
Lizzy: FUCK having to eat healthy all the time when all I want to do is eat potato chips and never gain a single pound
Alex: FUCK men who fucking fill their guts with the most disgusting food – AND NEVER GAIN A SINGLE POUND
Lizzy: FUCK portion control and staying away from bread and pasta
FUCK alcohol for giving me wicked hangovers
FUCK anxiety for keeping me in the shadows
FUCK being afraid of the dark
FUCK thinking I’m fat or that I need to change anything about my physical appearance
Alex: FUCK being afraid of the dark
FUCK thinking I’m fat
FUCK thinking I’m not good enough because I’m not a size zero
Lizzy: FUCK thinking I’m not good enough because I don’t have a degree
Alex: FUCK cat calls
FUCK feeling ashamed for wearing the shortest Lululemon shorts at the gym today that I spent $60
FUCK Lululemon for charging $60 for shorts that barely cover your ass
FUCK feeling like I don’t deserve things because I don’t have a degree
FUCK school for costing so much money
FUCK Student loans for NEVER going away
Lizzy: FUCK barrister fees that mean FUCK ALL because whoever has the most money wins anyway
FUCK rent, student loans, credit cards and any other money I owe
FUCK my car for being FUCKING TURQUOISE AND ANCIENT AS SHIT
Sent at 3:27 PM on Thursday
Lizzy: FUCK people for patronizing my relationship and its struggles
FUCK work clothes for being so fucking uncomfortable
Alex: FUCK all the money I owe
FUCK parking tickets – especially the ones that were not worth it
FUCK having to wear clothes at all
Lizzy: FUCK Photoshop for being the standard
FUCK Kim Kardashian and Kanye West for being so fucking fake and diluting art, music, and culture
FUCK art for being so expensive
Sent at 3:31 PM on Thursday
Alex: FUCK people who worship celebrities
FUCK not being paid to be a writer
FUCK people who think that writing doesn’t qualify as a profession
FUCK this city for being so damn expensive
Sent at 3:32 PM on Thursday
Lizzy: FUCK JOVAN PEDERSON FOR EVER ENTERING MY LIFE, WHAT A CREEP
Alex: OMG. yes.
FUCK DAVE… and the fact that I have to see him at the gym. And the for being so good looking and infiltrating my mind all damn day
FUCK the “one who got away” and will never come back
FUCK KYLE, for being an immature 40 year old
Lizzy: FUCK Chase for telling everyone we had sex when we were 13 because he was a DOUCHETARD who got mad when I wouldn’t have sex with him
FUCK Josh for asking ME out and then dumping ME for my best friend Donna two days later and FUCK Donna for ruining our friendship over a lousy guy
Maybe FUCK me for that one, too. Donna was nice
FUCK Brian’s family for giving shitty Christmas gifts
Alex: FUCK myself for making bad decisions more than I make good ones most of the time
FUCK losing my virginity to someone who totally didn’t deserve it
Lizzy: FUCK my family for inferring that I’m selfish for wanting to donate money to people who actually need it instead of buying each other shitty Christmas gifts
FUCK fucking people who totally weren’t worth it
FUCK Jason Davis
Alex: FUCK both of those things
FUCK feeling ashamed for having an increasingly large “people I’ve fucked” list.
Hahaha… what did Jason do now?!
Lizzy: told me he’s hanging out with you next week to make me jealous. Which it did.
Alex: OH. WHAT A TURD
Sent at 3:40 PM on Thursday
Alex: FUCK regret
FUCK time machines NOT existing