A morning person, just not first thing

6:30am. Okay, we have 20 minutes to do this, looks at vanity, sees three empty coffee mugs, two dozen dirty makeup brushes, 15 lipsticks, blotting papers, three Q tips with eyeliner on them, four hair brushes, 8,000 bobby pins, empty tube of concealer, fuck. I should clean this up. Some other time, though. Obviously.

Okay, okay. Get it together, Rochele. Stares in mirror for 5 minutes, oh yeah, right, I’m applying makeup. Primer first. WHERE IS IT? Oh my god, where is it? It’s in a clear container with a black top… oh my god I actually put it away. Amazing. Go me. Three drops of that smoothed over my face. Okay, next.

Concealer. That one is empty. And that one is the wrong colour, why do I still own this? Oh yeah, it was expensive. Oh, but that one is good. Pat that under my eyes. And on that red spot. And that one. Okay stop, you can’t cover your face in concealer. Or can I? No, you did that once and it turned out poorly. Blend it in. Okay, too much blending, now you need more concealer. Now blend that, in, too.

Foundation. Well, two bottles of foundation because my skin doesn’t exist in regular colours, still on the vanity without caps from yesterday next to a dirty foundation brush. I guess I should wash that. Goes to washroom, turns on the sink, immediately both cats rush to the sink and get in, okay maybe I’ll wash it in the bathtub instead.

My cats are adorable. They’re so soft and cute and so happy to snuggle in the mornings.
6:45am WAIT, WHAT? Okay, okay, no need to panic, we can do this in under 5 minutes. We, as in me, myself, and I.

Highlighter. Hnnnnggghhhh which one?? Do we feel more gold or peachy today? Gold. Gold is always good. Another dirty brush, but it’s just powder so it’s not so bad. Ohhhh girl, you are glowing! More? More.

And just a dab of blush on those cheeks because we’re going for demure and not a 1900’s prostitute, which is fine, it’s just not the look we’re going for but it’s a fine line. Being pale is hard.

6:50am. AHHHHHHH OKAY, WE HAVE TO HURRY UP.

I’m looking for eye shadow primer. I just saw it. Why does everything need its own primer? Creased eye shadow is a bad look. Okay, it’s not on the vanity. And it’s not in the eye makeup drawer. Looks down, sees tube with little bite marks on it under the vanity, okay that’s not my fault. Moving on.

Just simple eyes today, we don’t have time for anything else. Ten minutes later, ten makeup brushes, five different eye shadow colours and no eyeliner YES, WE LOOK GOOD.

Oh damn it is 7:05am and I still need eyebrows. Pencils on eyebrows. Those are not even. Tries to even them out, okay now it’s 7:15am and we have crazy eyes but we have to go.

WAIT, I NEED LIPSTICK. Grabs one from the drawer, shoves it in purse. Why is my bag always so heavy? Pulls out 9 lipsticks, blotting papers, two mirrors, two roll-on perfumes, a hair brush, a lint brush, and a full bottle of digestive enzymes oh right, but I need all this stuff.

7:20am. Okay, tomorrow we will do better. Goals are good.

Looks in the mirror. I guess I should get dressed. Oh look, coffee.

Lost. AGAIN.

Navigation is not one of my strong points.

I am chronically lost. I can’t read a map. Unless I can see the North Shore mountains or it’s sunrise/sunset, I have no idea what direction I’m facing. Ditto for map reading. I even manage to get lost using a GPS. Trust me, this is the ultimate failure and I feel really shitty about myself when it happens. It happens frequently.

Last night I got lost on campus. I was exhausted and overwhelmed, and there seemed to be no one around to help me find my way. Panic set in and I started walking and ended up in a place that I didn’t recognize at all. I felt tears welling up, and I felt so stupid for getting lost again and even dumber for crying about it. Why do I always do this? I look at a map, and then I get disoriented. Every. Single. Time.

I walked around for 30 minutes. I eventually found a path that I recognized from last semester and thank god I parked in the same parking lot that I always do. I had briefly considered parking somewhere else. I got in my car and felt really pathetic. I’ve spent a lot of time at this campus, I should know my way around by now, but I don’t.

One of my biggest fears is getting irretrievably lost.

– R