5:50am – The alarm goes off. Hit snooze. Cat creeps up to my face and plops herself on top of my chest and purrs.
6:00am – The alarm goes off again and I leave it and listen to whatever the next few songs are. Obligatory morning cuddles with husband and cat.
6:15am- Get up. Check phone for Snapchats, texts, and notifications. The shit people send me in the middle of the night is priceless.
6:20-7:15am – Have shower. Blow dry hair. Drink coffee, and blueberry-spinach smoothie. Makeup. Pick an outfit. Iron. Obsess about shoes. Stumble downstairs and gather lunch, phone, and whatever else I need for the day.
7:20-8:00am – Drive to work. Play the $1000 Minute on Virgin Radio. Listen to The Shore’s Test Drive song of the day. Curse the slow drivers. Curse the drivers who shouldn’t be in the HOV lane. Be smug about police pulling people over for traffic violations.
8:00am – Arrive at work. Make coffee. Unload dishwasher(s). Check messages. Ask boss about his itinerary for the day. Check email. Greet staff as they arrive.
8:30-4:30pm – Work. Answer phones. Filing. Prep for meetings. Email. Troubleshooting Microsoft Office. Fix paper jams. Smile at everyone. Send important emails. Scan. Work on contracts. Set-up presentations for architects. Go for a walk down to the waterfront at lunch time. Be the shining light at the office. Twitter. Facebook.
4:30- 5:30pm – Drive home. Phone mom, use blue tooth. Curse the sound quality of my blue tooth. Curse the slow drivers. Curse the busses. Curse people driving in the HOV lane that shouldn’t be. Yell obscenities at other drivers who cannot hear me. Apologize to mom for horrid attitude while driving home.
5:30-6:00pm – Arrive home. Feed cat. Take off clothes. Lay in bed naked. Contemplate what to make for dinner. Contemplate just staying in bed for the rest of the night.
6:00-7:00pm – Get up. Change into t-shirt, hoodie, and pajama pants. Put hair into a messy bun or ponytail. Make dinner. Listen to The Peak. Sing. Tweet. Do dishes. Step on cat 10 times.
7:00-7:30pm – Eat dinner. Chat with husband about day. Whine about being tired. Talk about how I should do homework, opt to watch TV instead.
7:30-8:30pm – Watch Parks and Rec, space show, OR several episodes of Whose Line Is It Anyway. Leave husband to watch multiple episodes of Income Property, shake head at his blatant man crush on Scott McGilvery.
8:30-10:00pm – Hang out in the Girl Room. Listen to Songza playlists. Paint nails. Tell the cat she’s so pretty. Chat with friends on Twitter, Facebook, Whatsapp, and text. Think about the next day’s outfit. Do a dry run of said outfit. Instagram said outfit, maybe.
10:00-10:20pm – Charge phone in the Girl Room and activate night mode. Tell the cat it’s bedtime. Tell the husband it is bedtime. Set-up coffee maker. Make sure all food is put away. Take off clothes beside the bed, leave them there. Get into bed.
10:20-10:45pm – Attempt to minimize the ritual bedtime chat. Get frustrated that husband stops talking and falls asleep immediately after telling me he’s not tired yet. Cat plops herself on top of me and purrs her little face off for what seems like 20 minutes.
10:45-11:15pm – Lay in bed listening to 10,000 thoughts. Try to think about something quiet and calm. Eventually lose myself in a thought and drift to sleep.
2:30-3:00 – Awake. Husband is taking up 2/3 of the bed and is serial cuddling again. Cat is still on top of me. Too hot. Thirsty. Have to pee. Know that ignoring all of these things means not sleeping. Get up. Pee. Drink water. Come back to bed. Push cat out-of-the-way and ask husband to move over. Ask husband to move over some more. Give up. Get back into bed. Lose myself in counting to 100, drift back to sleep.
3:45am – Neighbour with obnoxiously loud truck drives by, wakes me up.
4:15am – Awake. Annoyed. Still an hour and half to sleep. Fall back asleep.
5:45am – Awake. Tempted to just get up, but bed so warm. Fall back asleep.
5:50am – The alarm goes off. Feel like a zombie. Press snooze.